Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I am no Van Gogh, Monet, Degas...and I know it!

As I was unpacking all of my earthly possesions from our move in Feburary a deadline was looming. For many years I had thought of applying for a Creative Renewal Arts Fellowship. I had known many people who had recieved them in the past and I thought why not? If anyone needs RENEWING I do. So, I got my application together and as I was typing on my laptop (using a cardboard box for my desk)I thought about how I would use the $10,000-. I have never really traveled. I have no real art equipment....it was only a year or so ago when we bought a digital camera that I had became comfortable with. I could really use a new experience, some equipment that would help me grow as an artist....to push me to the next level. I knew there was a real chance that I would not get the GRANT. But, I did hope (unrealistically). Well, today after I picked up Ed from work (cause he is sick again) I got the mail and there was my rejection letter. I am really bummed more than I thought I would be. I have applied for art fairs for years and have been rejected from things and have learned to recieve rejection better. But.........I knew this money could really help me grow. Unfortunately, we do need money for travel, to buy equipment etc. Once my head hits the pillow tonight and I wake up tomorrow it will not feel as bad but....I do wonder why they open this sort of thing up to just any old artist when they are searching for the tenured Professor of Art, the Artist who has already traveled the world and is recognized internationally, or even all those artists with Master Degree's or the curator at the local hot spot in town. Tell me what are the real qualification's for this Fellowship? There will not be a next time for me.